Rollercoaster of Emotions

I've been at my new site for 3 weeks! I can't believe how fast the time is flying. I had an amazingly enlightening experience the other day that I thought I should share. But first, let me preface it with some of the emotions I was struggling with before this awesome moment...

There are so many aspects of Guyanese culture that are beautiful, unique and something I feel so fortunate to be able to experience. Alternatively, there are parts of this culture I have had a hard time coming to terms with, and feel that by accepting these "cultural norms" I am compromising who I am, what I believe in, and why I'm here. Here are a few examples of issues I face on a daily basis: mother's hitting their children at the clinic, children throwing rocks at dogs, battered women who come into the health centre seeking treatment, knowing full well the law does not protect them against domestic violence, leaving them feeling stuck in these terrible living conditions. What bothers me about all of this is that it is just accepted by people living here, and in order for me to integrate, I feel that I have to accept these issues and compromise my morals. In the process, I feel like I'm becoming jaded and emotionless. I walked by a dead puppy on the side of the road the other day and wasn't fazed by it. When I got home, I started to cry. Not because the puppy had died, but because it didn't bother me.

After coming home everyday filled with these frustrations, I realized I needed to come up with a solution. I decided to go for a run the next morning, and this is where I had my enlightening moment. I woke up feeling confused and angry. It was about 6 am and the sun was just starting to rise. I put on my running shoes and started running down the dirt road. I didn't know where it would take me and that was part of it's appeal. The road was empty and all I could hear were birds chirping, the "pitter-patter" of my feet on the dirt, my breath, (heavy because I hadn't run since being here) and my heart pounding in my head. Something about this peace and quiet helped clear my head of all the clutter and start to see things more clearly. Then it began to rain and I couldn't stop smiling. I realized in this moment how fortunate I am to have this opportunity to address these issues in my community. To become someone the people of Rosignol trust. Someone who can inspire change through the development of interpersonal relationships. That is why I'm here- to make positive change in a place that seems "unchangeable". To make people see a different point of view, and hopefully accept it as their own. All of these thoughts led to more thoughts about the type of projects I would like to start during my time here.
Here is a list I've come up with... please add if you have any other ideas:)
1. An after school program for teenage girls- if you empower women, you can make so much change.
2. Environmental awareness campaign- focusing on waste reduction: there is no form of waste disposal in Guyana. Most people either burn their garbage (plastics included) or throw it in the river.
3. Running/walking group for women in the community- use this as a way to improve physical health and start some dialogue on domestic violence and child abuse.
and of course....
4. Ultimate frisbee club- to spread the love of ultimate around the world <3

As I said, any other ideas would be a huge help!

I miss everyone from home everyday and wish that you could all be here to experience this crazy Guyanese Life!
Peace and so much love!

What's that? I'm an offical volunteer? AWESOME

Geez it's been a while since I last wrote. So much to catch up on. Where to begin??

I left my host family, a kitten I rescued from the trench and the Essequibo Coast last Sunday. Driving away, I was filled with a myriad of different emotions: excitement, nervousness, sorrow etc. But on we drove, and boated, and drove again until we reached the Aracari resort. As we exited the minibus and explored the hotel we discovered a pool, dance floor and bar. The excitement of jumping in water that didn't look like a chai latte almost overwhelmed us. As I started running to my room to change into my swim suit, I was informed that we would be in meetings for the rest of the day which was great because it's not like we've been in meetings everyday for the past two months. The meeting actually turned out to be very beneficial because we got to meet our counterparts- the people we will be working with for the next two years. My counterpart, Nurse June is AMAZING. She is a godsend. She has been a counterpart to 5 volunteers in the past and has been a huge support to me.

On Tuesday, we had our "swearing in" where we became official Peace Corps Volunteers here's an article to prove it in case you don't believe me:

http://www.stabroeknews.com/2010/stories/03/31/new-peace-corps-volunteers-told-their-task-is-no-%E2%80%98cake-walk%E2%80%99/

After the swearing in we had a party where we were able to take full advantage of the pool, dance floor and bar. And let's just say that I am still a little sore from gettin' down on the dance floor. If felt so good to cut loose with my fellow volunteers. It was a little difficult to wake up the next morning and pack for my new site considering the events that took place the night before. Needless to say, I got everything in order and had to say goodbye to the beautiful resort and all of the amazing friends I've met since coming here. I didn't realize how attached I've become to all of these people. We've already been through so much together, it was really hard to say goodbye.

So I got on the bus with my counterpart and a few other volunteers who are living in the same area as me and off we went to our new lives! The entire drive to Rosignol, we listened to Jesus music, which really helped my already sour mood. On top of that, my counterpart (who is totally tone deaf) was singing at the top of her lungs. FYI, the drive from Georgetown to Rosignol is approximately one hour...

So I get to my new house and it is pretty awesome. It was kind of dirty when I first moved in but I've cleaned it up so it's pretty nice. It's the upper level of a two flat house. It's pretty open and breezy. Two bedroom, one bath, large kitchen with plenty of counter space and a fridge. AND a beautiful veranda where I hung up my bright, banana yellow hammock. I have been spending the majority of my time there.

I started my job at the clinic today and it was amazing. I was able to sit in on 3 one-on-one consultations with HIV positive patients and help people join the diabetes/hypertension clinic. I think I'm going to be very busy there which is awesome. It'll help me keep my mind off of home. I plan on going into the school soon to see if I can start some after school programs as well. There are also some NGO's near by that I would love to work with. This place has a lot of potential. I'm very excited to be placed here.

Even though this place is great and I'm excited about being here, I have been very homesick and lonely lately. I think a lot of it is because I'm in an entirely new place (and I mean entirely in every sense of the word) and am living alone, which I've never done before. Any letters/e-mails from home would be a HUGE help. It's crazy how much an e-mail brightens my entire day. I should be putting up pictures soon! Peace and love:)