Oh! What an Awkward Mourning...

Hidey-ho blog followers! Sorry I haven't written in so long! I was in a bit of a writing funk, and there seemed to be a lack of good stories to share. Luckily, I was involved in yet another ridiculous event the other day and will now try my best to convey the hilarity of it all...

After discussing my love for Ultimate and all things sports, my new friend/boss/bad-ass Indira set up a meeting with for me to start working with a local sports club. Now, Indira is unlike any Guyanese woman I have ever met. The first thing she asked me me when we met was “How do you like your men? I like 'em with a tight ass. Men with tight asses usually have big penises”. At that moment the skies opened and the sun shone down upon us and I knew, the way you know about a good melon, that this was a woman I could work with! Anyway, back to the meeting...

Indira picked me up and took me to meet with Tamesh, the president of the sports club. The meeting went swimmingly. We ate fresh guavas and papaya from Indira's garden and discussed the possibility of collaboration on multiple projects. After about an hour of stuffing my face with fruit and gaffing (the Guyanese term for chatting), Indira informed us that she had to rush to a funeral. We exchanged contact information and said goodbye to Tamesh.

We climbed into Indira's car and began reflecting on the meeting. Because I was so excited about the new possibility of work, it took me a little while to realize we were headed in the opposite direction of my house. I didn't want to interrupt our captivating conversation on empowering youth and decided to just go with the flow. Soon we pulled off the main road and parked in front of a house. When I saw multiple black clothing-clad people standing outside, I realized that Indira had decided to take me to the funeral with her.

I contemplated waiting in the car while she paid her respects, but the idea of sitting in a car in the stifling heat was much less appealing than attending a funeral of a man I did not know. So I stepped out of the car and followed Indira inside, completely regretting my decision to wear a flowery top with white pants. As if I don't already stand out enough with my red hair and pale skin, I'm the insensitive girl wearing white at a funeral.

Trying to be discreet, Indira and I search the area for seats, but because we've arrived fashionably late, there are hardly any left. Suddenly, Indira points to two seats at the very front. All eyes are on us as Indira leads the way down the aisle. The seats are staggered, one in front of the other. Indira sits in the one behind, forcing me to sit in the front. She whispers that she doesn't want to sit in front because it would give her heebie jeebies. As I turn around to face forward, I suddenly see what she meant. I am sitting front and center at my very FIRST open-casket funeral!

You know how when some people are really uncomfortable they start laughing? Apparently I'm one of those people. I was overcome with a fit of giggles while everyone around me was overcome with grief. Luckily I was able to put my head down and control my convulsions enough that no one noticed. When I was finally able to get ahold of myself, I sat quietly and listened his eulogy. The departed sounded like an amazing man, and although I'd never met him, he sure did look like a wonderful individual, laying there peacfully in his coffin, wearing his nicest suit.

After an hour of speeches, tears, music and prayer, the casket was closed. Everyone stood to follow as the coffin was carried to the graveyard. I began to join the procession when, luckily, Indira informed me she didn't want to attend the burial.

Love, Peace and Open-caskets(?)
Annie